We cannot do justice on the topic of emotional intelligence (EQ) in a single blog post. Hence, we extend the explanation of EQ by bringing in a discussion on the core role of empathy.
Increased empathy is essentially paying attention to the emotions of others and thereby facilitating healthy social relationships. In a school context, this means conducive peer relationships, understanding of diversity, and reduced bullying. Ideally, it also means that people are less prone to getting attacked or mugged in broad daylight, because the future in an empathetic world means active citizens that protect each other and help those in need. I mean we could all do with increased prosocial behaviour in a world full of stress and conflict. I think that is where we fall short, why we are at risk of being taken advantage off, why injustice prevails, because we do not stand up for each other. Somewhere along the line, we began teaching our kids to look out for only themselves, to worry about their own progress, to ignore anyone that gets in their way. Sad isn’t it? Can we correct this? I hope so!
Psychologist, Daniel Goleman, and others have broken down the larger concept of empathy into three categories. Each of which serves a role. The ability to understand the emotions of others is referred to as cognitive empathy, e.g. I understand that my friend is feeling overwhelmed at the birth of her new baby although I have not experienced that. The capacity to build emotional connections and be able to relate to what another is feeling is termed affective empathy, e.g. I understand that my classmate is feeling anxious about the upcoming exams. The power of our emotions as being the driving force behind our actions is known as compassionate empathy, e.g. I can sense and feel the fear on her face, so I shout at the man cornering her.
So, at point in our lives to we develop this, widely acclaimed ability? In young childhood, that’s when! I urge you not to underestimate this developmental stage.
Somewhat disagreeing with Piaget’s view that the young child is egocentric, they do in fact attempt to comfort each other. This empathetic ability requires encouragement and nurturing, it can be a two-steps-forward one-step-back process, and your young one will need kind reminders. Each child is in a different point of their empathic development, you will notice them being uncertain on how to react to another’s emotions, and hesitant in their approach at comforting each other, but nonetheless comforting each other in the best way they know how!
The young child uses their newly acquired language and social skills to understand empathic engagement. Friendship is this new and exciting concept, allowing the young child to relate to their peers, sometimes unable to control their feelings, you will notice the young child being possessive over their friends and jealous at the prospect of anyone coming in between. Adults must not judge this behaviour too harshly, as it is akin to a development milestone. Young children may experience many intense emotions in a single day, but they are built to live in the moment. This is an opportunity to build resilience (a topic for another day).
Here is an activity that will both promote collaborative play and empathy. Have your young learner’s pair up, blind fold one and allow the other to guide their partner across an obstacle course. Oh, what fun!
The previous post touched on emotional regulation, we now know that there is a relationship between these concepts, as learners with higher empathy have more capacity to regulate their emotions, thus developing the much-desired emotional intelligence. Tada! 😊
If you’re interested in helping your lifelong learner become more emotionally competent, have a look at our uniquely designed resource, “Me and My Emotions”, https://smart-ed.co.za/product/my-emotions-and-me-activity/, with illustrations depicting 32 emotions, 102 scenarios and 30 coping mechanisms. The aim is to help lifelong learners realize that they have the power to understand their emotions and regulate themselves, making better sense of the world around them.